Practicality

Though I'm in my second semester (of ~4) in this program, the feeling of enthusiasm hasn't worn off yet. There are days when I'm sitting in class and the only thing I can think is "We need to tell EVERYONE about how to do this." The great thing about conflict resolution is that, sure we can mediate between international actors, but we can also apply the same concepts to interpersonal and every day communication errors. As a graduate student living in a group house with two other women, I find these techniques to be especially handy.

One of the theories of conflict that I enjoy greatly is Dugan's idea of a "nested" conflict. This is a conflict that is enveloped by other, more deeply rooted but broader scoped issues. So while the conflict may be over something relatively small-- let's say, a parking space-- it may actually be difficult to resolve because attached to that parking space are other emotions such as hurt pride or anger, that were developed from previous encounters or larger situational factors. So while solving a dispute over a parking space may appear as easy as "ok, we'll alternate days", in reality it can be much more complicated than that. The parking space, in effect, becomes a carrier or scapegoat for other more deeply rooted issues that are not obvious nor easily resolved.

In order to resolve the parking space issue, therefore, it is imperative to address these surrounding conflicts and issues that are associated with the parking space. Letting your friend know that you feel the dynamic between the two of you has changed, and that you would like to explore and address the situation is a good start.